A Writer's Papyrus

This is what happens when two people start goofing around over Christmas... Music and lyrics borrowed and adapted from the original 12 Days of Christmas  by Nikki G and S Lee. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me... A big bowl of Dhal curry.  On the second day of Christmas my true love gave me... Two chapati and a big bowl of Dhal curry.  On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Three soup Tom Yum, two chapati and a big bowl of Dhal curry.  On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Four suckling pigs, three soup Tom Yum, two chapati and a big bowl of Dhal curry.  On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Five hour heart burn, four suckling pigs, three soup Tom Yum, two chapati and a big bowl of Dhal curry.  On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Six packs of Eno, five hour heart burn, four suckling pigs, three soup Tom Yum, two chapati and a big bowl of Dhal ...

Listening to my husband and son is like listening to the minions... Hubby: Kar Chng! Gareth: hahahahaha! Hubby: Kar Chng! Gareth: hahahahaha! Hubby: Kar Chng! Gareth: hahahahaha! Kar Chng, by-the-way, is Hokkien for "butt".

We were going for dinner with some guests when G1 asks, "Where are we going for dinner?" Me: Well, since we have guests, we should ask them what they would like to eat, right? G1: (to guest) what would you like to eat? Guest: How about McDonald's? Why don't you ask your Mum if that's okay? G1: (looks at me) Me: What do you think I would say? G1: But you said we should eat what our guests want... Blah! Smarty pants! G1 - 1. Mum - 0.

G2 saw this book and said: I don't know that word... (Points to "adventures") but this says "chocolate". Yup... Priorities... We only need to know the important words...

I have learned that whenever you ask your child a question and he pretends he didn't hear the question, the answer is usually the one you don't like. For instance... Me: Did you pack up your toys? G2: Huh? Or... Me: Did you finish your lunch at school? G1: What was the question? In other words... the answer is "no".

G1 receive Roald Dahl's Marvellous Joke Book as a birthday present recently and it has inspired him to come up with his own jokes. Here are a few he came up with recently... Q: What do you get when you cross a dragon and a pig? A: Roasted pork. Q: Which dinosaur loves taking pictures? A: Camarasaurus . Q: Which dinosaur is a superhero? A: Supersaurus . The next one is actually one that he came up with quite a while ago but it came to mind again when he started telling his new jokes. How apt that it is Roald Dahl that inspired his interest to create jokes. Q: What's a dinosaur's favourite author? A: Roarald Dahl. Perhaps I should save them for G1's Marvellous Joke Book?

With G2 off to school and G1 still on holiday, G1 has been given a free reign to talk to me unceasingly. The continuous, unending chatter that accompanies my day reminded me of a conversation G1 once had with his Dad... G1: When I grow up, I want to be a dentist like Mummy. Dad: Really? Are you sure? Don't you want to be a lawyer like Daddy? G1: Nope. I want to be a dentist. Dad: Well, you know dentists don't get to talk very much. Most of the time they have to wear a mask to cover their mouths. Lawyers, on the other hand, get to talk all day. In fact, they get paid to tell other people what to do. You sure you still want to be a dentist? G1: *pause* I think I want to be a lawyer. Heh... I guess he recognises his strengths.