Classic Lines from the Kids

Found these oldies from way back when the boys were still only little...

The one bout the shoes

I was trying to help G1 understand what it feel like to be the other person.

Me: You have to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what it must feel like. What would you do?
G1: I would take my shoes back.

Where's my drink?

G1 was attending the cooking class at Marche. The doorman was teasing him about the drink bottle in his hand.

Doorman: Where's my drink?
G1: At the supermarket.

Old and New

G1: Aunty L gave me this.
BK: She's Granny L to you, G1.
G1: Why? Me: You need to call her Granny L because it is a sign of respect. She's a lot older than you.
G1: She's older than me?
Me: Yes.
G1: Am I new?

Where are your manners?

Daddy: Where are your manners, G1?
G1: I left them at school.

The gentleman's toilet

G2 needed the toilet. As I usually do, I tried to take him into the ladies restroom with me.

G2: I can't go in there! I'm a gentleman!
G1: No, you're not! You're not gentle at all!

The force is strong in this one

We were leaving the house when I see G1 flinging himself against the front door, repeatedly.

Me: G1! What are you doing?!
G1: G2 is using the force on me.

I look over at G2 and his wiggling his fingers mysteriously in the air.

A jackass on the road

G1, my SIL and I were in the car when my SIL hits the horn.

G1: What did the jackass do?

The one about the ice cream

G1: BK, you're not allowed to have ice cream.
BK: If I can't have ice cream then you can't either because I'm paying for it.
G1: Okay, you can have ice cream.

The unbribable child

KM: G1, if you finish the rest of your sandwich I will give you another scoop of ice cream.
G1: No thanks. *cough* I'm coughing so I can't have any more ice cream.

The realist

BK: Hi G1! (pause) HI G1! (pause) Wow, G1, when did you stop having time for me?
G1: I'm very busy, you know. AM, can I have some money?
AM: I don't have any more coins. You've taken them all.
BK: Oh look, G1! What have I got here? (jingling some coins) What's this?
G1: Oh! Hi, BK.
BK: Now that I have money, you have time for me?
G1: Yes.

Share the play doh

G1 was playing with play doh. He had four tubs of play dough all to himself and I had one tub. He looks at what I'm doing and leans over to take my play doh.

Me: G1, this is mine - you've got so much already!
G1: Don't be so greedy, Mummy - you should share!

Family manners

G2: At school we say 'pardon'. At home we say 'what?!'

Coupling Trains

BK was going to buy G1 a train. At the toy shop, she showed him two trains - an engine and a truck - and told him he could only choose one.

G1: If you buy the engine, there is no truck to pull. If you buy the truck, there is no engine to pull it. So how?

Wiping your hands clean

While eating a piece of fried chicken, I spied G1 surreptitiously trying to wipe his hand on the chair. 

Me: Don't wipe your hand on the chair!
G1: (after a few minutes, rubs my belly with his hand) Mummy, are you bao bao (as in "feeling full" in Chinese)?
Me: G1, are you trying to find an excuse to wipe your hands on my shirt?
G1: Mummy, I just sayang (as in "love" in Malay) you!

The one about the car

We were coming down the stairs when I heard the sound of my SIL2's car engine starting.

Me: Oh, BK is off to work.
G1: No, Mummy. It's AM.
Me: I don't think so. That sounds like BK's car...
G1: It's AM. BK doesn't go out so early. 

We walk out to the living room and I look out the window to see AM in BK's car.

The birthday cupcake

Conversation between DH and our god daughter.

DH: Happy Birthday, R1! How was your party at school?
R1: Good. I had cupcakes.
DH: Do I get a cupcake?
R1: *silence* 
DH: Did you save me a cupcake? 
R1: *silence* 
DH: I love cupcakes you know... 
R1: My friends ate them all.