A Writer's Papyrus

Sometimes I wonder what on Earth goes on in the car in the mornings when Daddy sends Gavin to school... On Tuesday, my SIL and I went to Bangsar Village with Gavin and Gareth.  The traffic was horrendous and my SIL hit the horn. Gavin immediately piped up, "What did the jack-ass do?"

I had my son in my thoughts when I wrote this.  It is difficult to be a child growing up and my son is just at the beginning of a very long journey.  It is a difficult journey and I fear for him.  Memories of my youth return to me whenever I think about what he is about to embark as he begins to go to school and separate from me.  I wonder if he can stand up to what life has in store for him and if I have adequately prepared him for the road that lies ahead.  The science shows that the foundation of a person's being is built upon the experiences of his first three years of life.  Well, my son has passed those first three years and I don't know if I have done enough. No matter what they say, You are special and unique, A precious gem within my life, You are amazing to behold. No matter what they say, You bring me such delight, A ray of sunshine to my days, You warm my heart. My love for you holds no bounds, You are the meaning in my life, Whereve...

Let me in, I want to help you. I see your pain - I can feel it, too. Let me in, please open your heart. Tell me everything, begin at the start. Let me in, share all your tears. Tell me all about your fears. Let me in, don't keep me out. Tell me what it is all about. Let me in, let me love you. I want to share all you feel, too. I'm here to catch you if you fall. Good and bad, I'll take it all. Let the healing process begin. Please, please, let me in...

There are the days, The sun's incandescence is so bright, I feel immortal in its radiance, Nothing can touch me. There are the days, The stratosphere is so thick with clouds, All light is engulfed by the ominous billows. Will I see the sun again? Or am I doomed to live, In perpetual darkness? They say "it is better to light one candle, Than to curse the dark", But what happens when there are no candles, Or tinder to light them with? I pray and hope for the sun to show itself; My mind deceives me, I wonder if it really ever existed. It is a faded memory, Playing like a dream so far from reality. The yoyo of highs and lows are so intense, I feel as though I'm losing my mind. I have no sense of what is real, I begin to wonder why I am here. The most frightening part is, When I no longer care. Losing that will to fight, I'm the terminal patient on her deathbed, Waiting for the angels to come take her away.

I was a cold and empty shell, So far removed from this world where I dwelled. I passed through life like a ghost in time, My thoughts and emotions, I never opined. Making barely a ripple in the water of life, I kept to myself and stayed away from all strife. I chose not to live because I was afraid to feel. So burnt by a past, I could never be healed. And then you came and changed my world, Dreams long gone began to unfurl. You warmed this ice cold heart of mine, And thawed what had been frozen in time. You brought me back to life again, And helped me see it was worth the pain. I thank you for your certainty, For you made me believe… in me.

I must be nocturnal.  I love being awake at night when everyone else is asleep.  There is something magical about the feeling of being the only one awake at night while the rest of the household sleeps.  Ever since I burned the midnight oil in high school and into University, I've continued to revel in the peaceful tranquility of the night. Back in Melbourne, I would wander down to the 24-hour Coles being manned by the graveyard crew.  It's nice being one of the few customers roaming the aisles and not having to queue up at the cashier.  The other part of the night which I have never been able to experience back here is the silence.  I have never realised how quiet the night in Australia is until I'm back for the holidays - suddenly, I remember what it means to have insomnia because the night is too "silent". The other thing I never hear is the breaking of dawn - when the birds come out.  It is a sound I never hear during the day because they get d...

Gavin loves to talk.  He started talking early and was into full sentences by the time he was two and a half.  Some of the things he says can be really adorable and funny sometimes and he draws a lot of attention because of his incessant chatter.  When he was younger, I felt I couldn't hear him talk enough.  Although I still think it is still really cute, when you have to live with it 24/7, even cute has its limits.  Sometimes I find myself yearning for a bit of peace and quiet so much so that I have developed a bad habit of zoning out to my happy place from time to time. If you've seen the Disney movie " Up ", you might recall a dialogue between the old man and the boy scout that went something along the lines of: Old Man: Let's play a game - who can be quiet the longest. Boy Scout: Oh!  My Mum loves that game! I recently played that game with Gavin. This was how it went: Me: Gavin!  Let's play a game - who can be quiet the longest! Gavin: (i...